I’ve been a Mac user for nearly four years now, and it’s been a good four years, but at some point we should all just accept the fact that Windows is superior in every way and go back. Let’s be honest, we were all just using Macs because everybody else was using Windows and we wanted to be different, but now a whole bunch of people are using Macs, and it’s become clear that this display of difference is futile. I declare our stupid rebellion from the social norm of Windows officially over, let’s all go to Dell and buy some beige power tower.
We’re always going on about the superior UI, and the UI is superior, but it’s spoiling us for the awful UI of reality. You know how kids who grew up in dirty environments get sick less later in life than the kids who grew up in spotlessly germ-free environments? It’s the same for UI; the easier it is to use your computer, the less prepared you will be for some challenging obstacle to pop up in real life. You can’t zoom out of real life to see all of the windows you’ve got open, and if you want to find something in a pile you can’t just ‘spotlight’ for it. Windows purposefully makes it as difficult as humanly possible to do anything at all with your computer, which strengthens your reflexes for real life. It’s like the UI is exercise equipment for your interaction reflexes.
Social interaction is, of course, different, however the mac platform once again gives us unrealistic expectations for the real world. The mac community is full of nice people who speak concisely about a variety of topics, and are incredibly pleasant to talk to. Yeah, sure, that’s nice, but if you walk into a bar and hold everybody to that standard you’ll never talk to anybody ever again. Now look through a PC Gaming forum, most of what’s said is indecipherable because of the terrible spelling, and what is readable is filled with specialized cliches like “pwned” and “haxxored” which no longer actually mean anything, and if you get more than two pages in before it turns into a virtual drunken shouting match then you’ve got a really good thread going. And that’s just text chat, you should try in-game audio, it scarred me for life. Hey look, that’s almost exactly like a bar (from what I hear, anyway). Again, as mac users, we’re deluding ourselves into thinking that most people are smart, and it’s left us dreadfully unprepared for the real world.
And what of Mac OS X’s APIs like Cocoa? Well, for anybody who hasn’t developed Mac software, the Mac OS X API’s are incredibly comprehensive, and basically do all of the developers dirty work for them. This means that just about anybody can write Mac software, which dilutes the market for the ‘real developers’ out there so they can’t charge users anywhere near as much for software. There are professional developers out there suffering with only two or three yachts because of all of the competition from amateurs. Oh sure, you as the consumer loves this, but if you’ve seen The Story of Stuff or Food Inc you’ll know that cheap stuff comes at a price, and that price is usually at the expense of someone else. Please, help a poor pro-developer, switch back to the platform with API’s so convoluted that only those with expensive degrees can properly utilize them. You’re $500 or something investment in a Windows can give hope to a millionaire in silicon valley.
And for any of you who haven’t caught on yet, why don’t you look at the date this was published? -Keaton Brandt